MIDDLE SCHOOL ESSAY WINNERS - 2013
Christian Prior, Vista Middle School, Grade 8
To Forgive is to be Forgiven (Category Winner)
Andy Fan, the Dorris-Eaton School, Grade 8, Blessed Panacea
Gautham Pasupathy, Windemere Ranch Middle School, Grade 7, Another Way
Honorable Mention
Isabellajane Baerlang, St. Mary’s School, Grade 6, Ask for Help
Celvi Lisy, Seven Hills School, Grade 6, Helping Hand from Gandhi
Zimra Razvi, Dorris-Eaton, Grade 6, Forgiveness
Holly Lawrence, Dorris-Eaton, Grade 7, Forgiveness a World of Possibilities
Brendan Gregoire, Dorris-Eaton, Grade 8, Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Amy Lin, Dorris-Eaton, Grade 8, Forgiveness
Teresa Hansen, Martinez Jr. High, Grade 8, An Eye for an Eye, a Tooth for a Tooth
Callie Johnson, Martinez Jr. High, Grade 8, Thank You
Lorisa Rodriguez, Martinez Jr. High, Grade 8, Forgive
Aaron Sullivan, Martinez Jr. High, Grade 8, An Eye for an Eye
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Christian Prior, Vista Middle School, Grade 8
To Forgive is to be Forgiven (Category Winner)
When I was young, my brother and I were put into foster care. I was four
and my brother, Andre, was eight. Andre and I were put into foster care so our
parents could take classes on how to take care of our disease. We have cystic
fibrosis or CF. It is an incurable disease that affects the lungs. The only problem was that our parents never went to any of these classes, nor did they ever try to get me and my brother back.
Andre and I met a very kind lady named Robin who became my mother in the later years. I really adored my mother, but my brother wasn’t as affectionate with her as I was. My mom and Andre would get into many arguments and disagreements for many things. Some were stupid, others serious, or just random. There were times when my brother would storm off into his room and yell or punch his bed.
There was one time when Andre got in trouble; it was the first week of being in foster care. He was really mad and for some reason we got into a fight and Robin had to pull me away before he hit me and then he said something that really hurt me at the time. He said, “I hate Christian.” I couldn’t understand why my own brother would say something so horrible. I was incredibly sad, especially since we were in foster care, away from our birth mother. I know brothers and sisters argue and will say they hate each other, but then a couple days later will be buddies again. But I could really tell that Andre meant what he was saying. I don’t quite remember, but I think I cried myself to sleep that night. It was really hard for me to talk to my brother for a couple days because of what he said to me.
After a while we began to talk and be brotherly to each other and I still remembered what my brother said, but I tried putting it behind me. It was probably a month later
Andre got into another confrontation with my mom. Out of nowhere he decides to
say, “I hate Christian,”in a matter-of-fact tone. Again, it hurt me because I thought we were all better because we had been talking to each other very kindly. Sometimes he would hit me for no reason at times. Other times were because I didn’t do what he said or didn’t get him something he wanted. But every time he wanted to hit me, I was ready to fight back and sometimes did.
I was beginning to get used to his insults because he said them over and over and had a feeling that maybe I could change how he thought of me. He would break things that belonged to me to get me angry and fight him. But, I truly felt that maybe I could change the way he felt about me, so he doesn’t hate me. But that was a failed thought.
There was a time when Andre felt like saying something that wasn’t a nice thing at
all. He told me, “I want you dead; I want you to kill yourself. I never want you in my life again. I hate you.” There was so much venom in his words it actually set me back; it even set my mother back. He spat those angry words at me so many times after that to where I felt I didn’t care what he said after that. His words became words to me because I knew I was better than him in many ways. Better grades, better health, a family, a better personality, I had self-respect.
I forgive my brother for hating me. I forgive him for wanting me dead, or telling me to kill myself. I forgive him for not even saying sorry for his venomous words he used against me. If he hates me those feelings are his and I will accept them because I know other people care for me and love me. I have a family behind me that will guide
me through my life into the right direction. But whatever the reason for hating me is I forgive him. If you can’t forgive someone for what they said or did to you, you can’t move forward in life. Until you can forgive that person who has done wrong to you, you’ll be stuck at square one.
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Andy Fan, the Dorris-Eaton School, Grade 8,
Blessed Panacea
Known as the highest and most supreme form of art, forgiving is possibly the holiest act a person could ever conduct. Indeed, to forgive is to turn back the wheel of time, to go back to a time when the malice has not yet sprouted. However, reconciliation and forgiveness are neither a part of human instinct nor the natural reaction. The forthright truth, though it hurts, is that revenge and anger are the primary human instincts. In fact, many people can say “sorry” but are still fuming on the inside. As such, a person who has truly forgiven another is someone who has cleansed him/herself of all the hate, disgust, and ire. Often these people feel better themselves after forgiving instead of taking revenge. Quite obviously, to forgive is no simple task. Rather, it’s something only the most mentally powerful can accomplish. In my personal process of maturing, I’ve changed from a little child who wanted retribution for the most trivial acts, to a calm teenager who understands that nearly everything—even murder—can be forgiven.
As a child, I was (I hate to admit it!) a spoiled brat who wanted everything to go my way. If my twin brother had one popsicle, I had to consume one, if not two, of them. If he struck me, even if it was by accident, I had to hit him back twice as payback. The reverse also applied for him. Clearly, the concept of revenge didn’t benefit either of us. Of course, my grandparents told me to forgive Willy in order to avoid pain on both parties. Unfortunately, I found it impossible to quell the rage within me; and in a way, revenge gave me extremely high amounts of satisfaction. This continued all the way to the age of nine, when I finally had an epiphany. During this incident, I was forced to forgive my brother after he’d stolen some of my most prized possessions. I initially thought that I would feel awful after pardoning him, but the opposite proved to be true. This was because I realized that by forgiving him, I’d removed all my anger without starting yet another conflict. From that day on, I vowed to always forgive people. Now, although nothing too devastating has happened to me yet, I have managed to hold true to this
promise.
History has also demonstrated that forgiveness, not revenge, is the better path to walk. Indeed, often times the drive for revenge causes more deaths than any other thing. For example, Hitler's genocide and World War II were both caused because he told his people, the Germans, that he would secure revenge for them after their severe punishment from World War I. If his people weren’t so bent upon revenge, then he wouldn’t have been able to exploit them, and millions of people wouldn't have had to die. Additionally, the US's revenge on the Middle East for 9/11 has been largely unsuccessful, and really only more citizens have been killed. With forgiving, none of these deaths would've had to occur. Quite obviously, revenge doesn't profit anyone, but instead only harms and many times even kills people.
Clearly, forgiveness is the divine act which, if done instead of revenge, can save a lot of suffering for both sides. From personal experience, I've realized that revenge, if chosen over forgiveness, is a severe negative. Moreover, history has also shown us that revenge brings nothing but pain and misery. In conclusion, forgiving is a panacea, a panacea which will cure the world.
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Blessed Panacea
Known as the highest and most supreme form of art, forgiving is possibly the holiest act a person could ever conduct. Indeed, to forgive is to turn back the wheel of time, to go back to a time when the malice has not yet sprouted. However, reconciliation and forgiveness are neither a part of human instinct nor the natural reaction. The forthright truth, though it hurts, is that revenge and anger are the primary human instincts. In fact, many people can say “sorry” but are still fuming on the inside. As such, a person who has truly forgiven another is someone who has cleansed him/herself of all the hate, disgust, and ire. Often these people feel better themselves after forgiving instead of taking revenge. Quite obviously, to forgive is no simple task. Rather, it’s something only the most mentally powerful can accomplish. In my personal process of maturing, I’ve changed from a little child who wanted retribution for the most trivial acts, to a calm teenager who understands that nearly everything—even murder—can be forgiven.
As a child, I was (I hate to admit it!) a spoiled brat who wanted everything to go my way. If my twin brother had one popsicle, I had to consume one, if not two, of them. If he struck me, even if it was by accident, I had to hit him back twice as payback. The reverse also applied for him. Clearly, the concept of revenge didn’t benefit either of us. Of course, my grandparents told me to forgive Willy in order to avoid pain on both parties. Unfortunately, I found it impossible to quell the rage within me; and in a way, revenge gave me extremely high amounts of satisfaction. This continued all the way to the age of nine, when I finally had an epiphany. During this incident, I was forced to forgive my brother after he’d stolen some of my most prized possessions. I initially thought that I would feel awful after pardoning him, but the opposite proved to be true. This was because I realized that by forgiving him, I’d removed all my anger without starting yet another conflict. From that day on, I vowed to always forgive people. Now, although nothing too devastating has happened to me yet, I have managed to hold true to this
promise.
History has also demonstrated that forgiveness, not revenge, is the better path to walk. Indeed, often times the drive for revenge causes more deaths than any other thing. For example, Hitler's genocide and World War II were both caused because he told his people, the Germans, that he would secure revenge for them after their severe punishment from World War I. If his people weren’t so bent upon revenge, then he wouldn’t have been able to exploit them, and millions of people wouldn't have had to die. Additionally, the US's revenge on the Middle East for 9/11 has been largely unsuccessful, and really only more citizens have been killed. With forgiving, none of these deaths would've had to occur. Quite obviously, revenge doesn't profit anyone, but instead only harms and many times even kills people.
Clearly, forgiveness is the divine act which, if done instead of revenge, can save a lot of suffering for both sides. From personal experience, I've realized that revenge, if chosen over forgiveness, is a severe negative. Moreover, history has also shown us that revenge brings nothing but pain and misery. In conclusion, forgiving is a panacea, a panacea which will cure the world.
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Gautham Pasupathy, Windemere Ranch Middle School, Grade 7,
Another Way
Revenge is usually the worst possible way to solve a problem. It creates more tension and just leads to another fight. There is always a way to forgive some
one who did something wrong. Everyone gets into fights, like I did once. The
fight was at teen center, an after school care place. I teased my friend about some thing. Due to what I said,he got angry. He sat down on the couch there and started crying. He didn’t move. Just sat there, stony-faced, unmoving, tears running down his cheek. When I tried to come to him and apologize, he pushed me away, told me to go away and get out, and then returned to his previous state of not moving and crying. Eventually we made up because he accepted my apology. The special thing about this fight was, he didn’t try to take revenge on me. Not once. He didn’t vent his anger on anyone or anything, he just sat there. No teasing, no name-calling, no nothing. He just forgave me after some time.
The way my friend responded is very important. Most kids will cry like he did, but they will respond with teasing, name-calling, and sometimes even violence. This just leads to more hate and violence. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Hate begets hate and violence begets violence.”. This means that hate and violence will only cause more hate and violence. What should happen is that the hate and violence should disappear. Now how do we make that happen? In my old school, Quail Run, they had a method called the “I Path” to resolve fights between students. The problem with it was, it would only create a solution to that fight, that grudge, and not the hate flowing between them. You need a solution that will eradicate the hate entirely.You need both people to feel sympathetic towards each other. You need a permanent solution.
Fortunately, for people and schools all around the world, there is a solution. The only way to feel sympathetic to each other is to know why the other person is attacking you or for them to know why you are attacking them. Not just why the fight started, but on a deeper level. You have to know whether there is a bigger motive or not. In a lot of cases, there isn’t any deeper motive and the kids just get angry. To solve that, instead of punishing both of them, you make them work together on something. They should be given a project and make them understand each other. But not just any project. They should be given a project on sympathy and empathy. If they have to work on the project together, they need to
uderstand each other first. When they understand each other, they will have sympathy and empathy. Then the hate will disappear.
There is also another case which does not occur as often. Sometimes, one kid will be going through a hard time in his or her private life. The person who is resolving the fight and the victim must first know what is happening to the offender. Then they can help the offender go through this tough time. Measures can also be taken to make sure the victim and the resolver keep this hardship a secret.
Revenge is the worst way to solve a problem, and there are much better ways to solve it. There are ways like my friend who did not go for revenge, lost his anger, and made up with me. There are ways to solve the problem temporarily. Then there are also ways to solve the problem permanently, one for fights without a deeper motive and just pure anger or resentment, and one for fights with a deeper motive. There is always a way to make up, no matter how bad the circumstances are.
Another Way
Revenge is usually the worst possible way to solve a problem. It creates more tension and just leads to another fight. There is always a way to forgive some
one who did something wrong. Everyone gets into fights, like I did once. The
fight was at teen center, an after school care place. I teased my friend about some thing. Due to what I said,he got angry. He sat down on the couch there and started crying. He didn’t move. Just sat there, stony-faced, unmoving, tears running down his cheek. When I tried to come to him and apologize, he pushed me away, told me to go away and get out, and then returned to his previous state of not moving and crying. Eventually we made up because he accepted my apology. The special thing about this fight was, he didn’t try to take revenge on me. Not once. He didn’t vent his anger on anyone or anything, he just sat there. No teasing, no name-calling, no nothing. He just forgave me after some time.
The way my friend responded is very important. Most kids will cry like he did, but they will respond with teasing, name-calling, and sometimes even violence. This just leads to more hate and violence. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Hate begets hate and violence begets violence.”. This means that hate and violence will only cause more hate and violence. What should happen is that the hate and violence should disappear. Now how do we make that happen? In my old school, Quail Run, they had a method called the “I Path” to resolve fights between students. The problem with it was, it would only create a solution to that fight, that grudge, and not the hate flowing between them. You need a solution that will eradicate the hate entirely.You need both people to feel sympathetic towards each other. You need a permanent solution.
Fortunately, for people and schools all around the world, there is a solution. The only way to feel sympathetic to each other is to know why the other person is attacking you or for them to know why you are attacking them. Not just why the fight started, but on a deeper level. You have to know whether there is a bigger motive or not. In a lot of cases, there isn’t any deeper motive and the kids just get angry. To solve that, instead of punishing both of them, you make them work together on something. They should be given a project and make them understand each other. But not just any project. They should be given a project on sympathy and empathy. If they have to work on the project together, they need to
uderstand each other first. When they understand each other, they will have sympathy and empathy. Then the hate will disappear.
There is also another case which does not occur as often. Sometimes, one kid will be going through a hard time in his or her private life. The person who is resolving the fight and the victim must first know what is happening to the offender. Then they can help the offender go through this tough time. Measures can also be taken to make sure the victim and the resolver keep this hardship a secret.
Revenge is the worst way to solve a problem, and there are much better ways to solve it. There are ways like my friend who did not go for revenge, lost his anger, and made up with me. There are ways to solve the problem temporarily. Then there are also ways to solve the problem permanently, one for fights without a deeper motive and just pure anger or resentment, and one for fights with a deeper motive. There is always a way to make up, no matter how bad the circumstances are.